Blond
by jennylabob
Summary: He just had to be blond. The unusual color of Edward's hair used to fascinate her. But the blond of his hair overwhelmed her senses and jolted her nerves. Bella/Jasper
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own Twilight or make any money from writing this. Obligatory "first story" comment. Not finished. I wanted to post it as a oneshot but it got longer than I anticipated. Didn't really want to continue unless maybe someone out there as an interest? Oh and please let me know if there are formatting changes I should make (or other changes of course). If anyone reads it that is. It gets lonely in cyberspace.

He just had to be blond. The unusual color of Edward's hair used to fascinate her. But the blond of _his_ hair overwhelmed her senses and jolted her nerves. Listen to her. _Used_ to fascinate her. Bella bit the inside of her cheek to keep from snorting. Trust her inner monologue to get away from her during a day dream and bluntly acknowledge what she'd been hiding from herself. Edward was a past tense. No more racing heart or admiration for his perfection. Simply chaste disdain. Bella glanced sharply to her left; irrationally paranoid the vampire next to her had broken the protective barrier of her mind and heard her rejection of him. Edward shot her an anxiety-free smile and she quickly returned with the closest approximation of her former lovesick grin she was still capable of. Edward then resumed his diligent note taking, recording the teacher's wordy English lecture. Not for himself, of course, but for her. _No girlfriend of Edward's will humiliate him by failing _she thought, rolling her eyes. Bella felt a trickle of curiosity and concern to her right and she realized, at least for a moment, she had forgotten about _him_. Jasper must have felt her self-disgust at the ridiculous face she had to pull as well as her irritation and was projecting the emotions as a way of asking her if she was all right.

Bella and Jasper had grown closer since Jasper had decided to fail his senior year last year and continue his work on ignoring his thirst for human blood by surrounding himself with the infuriating Forks High School student body. It likely tested the limits of his patience too; Bella could name a large handful of students she wouldn't mind never seeing again. At least if Jasper snapped and killed someone the crime would serve an additional purpose as sustenance. If Bella were to engage in her flights of fancy it would leave her with only a body that required disposing of and no alibi, though the psychological relief would be great. With morality in mind, Jasper pushed himself outside his comfort zone and had joined Bella, Alice and Edward in all of their classes. There was nothing like common misery stemming from suffering through tedious tests to bond people together. The Southern vampire and human girl had formed a friendship that was at first based on study groups but had developed into something deeper.

With quiet thoughtfulness and a respect for Bella she hadn't experienced before, Jasper soon replaced Alice as Bella's best friend. Bella found in Jasper a friend willing to listen to her and do things she wanted to do. Jasper didn't force her into anything. Unfortunately, the budding friendship wasn't something everyone was happy with. Edward used Jasper's tremulous control as an excuse to keep the two apart. Alice wasn't overjoyed by the relationship either; she blamed Bella for changes in Jasper. But Alice wasn't around it for long. Alice had broken any ties and run, only cementing the bond between Jasper and Bella. Alice decided to leave after Jasper began asserting himself, letting his needs be known. Perhaps she could have dealt with losing control in one area but Bella too had found her strength and quit letting Alice boss her around. Alice's desperate need for control sent her hightailing in search of a more pliable mate and a new Barbie to adorn. While Bella's only sorrow came from the missed opportunity to shout a parting quip to Alice's backside (Alice had snuck away in the middle of the night without any goodbyes), Jasper was understandably more upset. The man found himself alone and deserted after years of companionship and guidance from the scheming pixie. Jasper had been completely bereft; he didn't know how to navigate the world feeling so lonely. But Bella had been there. Bella was the only one who supported him; the only one who understood his pain and was willing to work to pull him out of it. She had decided her behavior after Edward's abandonment months ago was weak and unacceptable. Jasper wasn't allowed the luxury of shutting himself down; Bella forced him to keep pushing to save him from her shame, the shame of being fragile. He was now stronger and more capable than she had ever known him.

Bella wasn't sure when solidarity and empathy had transformed into deeper feelings for Jasper. Upon stolen solitary hours of reflection while Edward was hunting, she found it rather coincided with her other changes. She had felt it slowly traveling in her veins. A strength and independence. She was growing up. No longer did she need a little boy to defeat all of the evils of the world and keep her safe but isolated. She wanted the support of a man to let her explore and make mistakes; discover for herself she was strong enough to stand. She needed to metaphorically fight her own evils and learn to live instead of only survive. Somehow Jasper had become the man she longed for but didn't need. In that was the difference; Edward convinced her she needed him and would fall apart without him and so she had. But she slowly learned there was no _need_ for anyone but herself. _Want_ was an entirely different matter. And she did want. She found herself obsessed with Jasper. His rare smiles, subtle accent and his damn blond hair; physically he was the most stunning person she'd ever seen. Edward certainly didn't equal him. That's not what had struck a chord though. It was who he was when they were alone together. They would sit in his study as Edward hunted and read shoulder to shoulder. Hours would be spent in silence, soaking in the presence of the other, both in utter contentment. Other times would be filled with rapid discussions about how the world worked interrupted only to share a laugh together. Laughter wasn't something she and Edward did much. Only with her relationship with Jasper did she realize how necessary sharing laughter is. Jasper treated her as an equal. He didn't try to shield her from horrors he'd seen or worry about spoiling her naiveté. He trusted her to know what she wanted and expected her to voice her needs. Jasper didn't waste his time wishing he could read her mind. He allowed her the joy of filtering her thoughts and stating only what she wanted to. But he also made sure she knew if she didn't ask for something, she wouldn't get it; it would be her own fault. He wasn't going to play a lifelong guessing game with the females in his life anymore.

A large dose of concern broke Bella's concentration and she suddenly realized she had yet to respond to Jasper's silent query. Finally, she looked at him and saw worried eyes staring back. She offered a timid smile and a blush in return then quickly glanced away. He was everywhere; in her thoughts, classes, even her dreams. As she fell asleep in Edward's arms, Bella would desperately pray she didn't say Jasper's name in her sleep. So far she seemed to be lucky. Her emotions were a different story. Whenever spending time with Jasper, Bella would try to be alert. She didn't want to let her guard down in case he caught enough of emotions to discover her true feelings for him. Bella was frustrated at her inability to escape her obsession with him. When a third wave of emotions hit her she knew she would have some explaining to do later, when they were alone, about her chaotic shifts in emotion.

Unluckily, (though it was hard to view any alone time with Jasper as negative) he got an opportunity to question her that evening. Edward had gone hunting, delegating the role of babysitter to Carlisle as per usual. Fortunately for the two, it was also usual for Carlisle to leave Bella with Jasper whenever he worked late night shifts. Carlisle's faith in Jasper far surpassed that of Edward's, though it wasn't as strong as Bella's. The two friends had the house to themselves and were quietly reading in Jasper's study when Bella's book was abruptly snatched from her hands. She was slightly startled but not surprised. She had been expecting an interrogation all night.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jasper asked quietly, knowing full well Bella knew what he was referring to.

Bella worried her lip, unsure of what brutal honesty would cost her. Of course she couldn't be completely transparent, but maybe sharing some of her feelings toward Edward would be relieving. Yes, it was unfair to Edward, but what girl doesn't discuss boy-trouble with her best friend from time to time? She looked up and saw Jasper was patiently waiting for her to make up her mind. It never took effort with Jasper; he was never demanding. He only wanted to help her. Making her decision, Bella nodded.

"I'm not in love with Edward anymore," she stated simply. Slightly shocked at her own directness and lack of tact, the effects the words had on her lagged slightly. When her brain eventually registered what her mouth had said, euphoria exploded in her body. _I'm not in love with him anymore. It's as simple as that! None of this silly telling myself it's only a lack passion or working to try to save our relationship shit. I'm done. I just don't love the person he is anymore. I've changed too much. And that's exactly what I'll tell him!_ Distracted by her own epiphany Bella didn't notice Jasper had yet to react in any tangible way. Finally, Bella peeked at him sheepishly, ready to apologize for her unfocused attention. Surprise filled her when she saw he had frozen with his hands lightly clenched in tension and his mouth open.

"Jasper?" Bella questioned hesitantly, stretching a hand out and covering his fist. The warmth caused him to jump as he returned his focus to the girl in front of him.

"I'm sorry, you caught me off guard," he said looking embarrassed. Bella ignored the brief flicker of another unidentified emotion in his eyes.

"I surprised you? Aren't you supposed to be an empath? Love is a feeling, right?" she remarked dryly, attempting to ease the odd stress she could feel billowing between them.

Jasper glared at her without any heat; he seemed thankful for her half-hearted efforts. With a ruffle of her hair that caused her to shiver, he returned to normal.

"Snarky." He smiled briefly then got serious again. "I have noticed a change in your relationship with Edward but I didn't believe it had devolved to this point. Are you okay? Have you talked with him about it yet?"

Bella looked guiltily at the floor and mutely shook her head. Then she started to think about it.

"Well, I guess we've discussed it a little bit. I'm sure you heard us arguing in the hall the other day at school?" She waited for his nod before continuing. "He did something to my truck so I couldn't drive out to see Jacob. I told him he was just too controlling and I was reaching my wits end. He scoffed and patted me on the head as though I was being petulant. He treats me like a dog." Bella felt anger lick her sides before Jasper reeled it back in.

"Sorry," he muttered.

Bella didn't reply, instead choosing to look perplexed and concentrate on feeling nothing but curiosity. Jasper clearly understood her meaning but took his time in acknowledging that fact. Whenever she tried to communicate with him through her emotions he liked to make it a drawn out process until she can't keep embarrassment or awkwardness at bay. She wasn't sure why; he'd told her that he found it wonderful whenever she tried to communicate wordlessly back to him and showed that she really understood him. It probably was just because he liked to make her feel uncomfortable.

A smirk tugging at his lips due to her expression of puzzled bashfulness, Jasper finally spoke, "It just makes me extremely angry that he treats you as if you're lower than him. He's too blind to see the wonderful woman he has right in front of him, desperate to just be treated as a partner."

It didn't surprise Bella that he had already figured out exactly why she no longer loved Edward. Jasper was extremely insightful even without the assistance his gift offered him.

"What makes me angry is if I hadn't opened my eyes and grown up, he would have manipulated and controlled me my whole life. I could just see us getting married and…" She swallowed forcibly as she tapered off, disgusted by the idea of being under Edward's thumb for an immortal eternity. Jasper looked enraged by the suggestion of her being a puppet forever.

"I'm… I'm glad you don't love him anymore. It wasn't healthy for you. Or him really. He's too obsessed," he said almost too softly for her to hear, seemingly worried about her reaction to his admission.

Bella nodded her assent. She couldn't agree more. It wasn't a positive relationship for either party. It needed to end. She would talk with Edward as soon as he returned.

Without warning, Bella was forced against a bookshelf with a hand grasping her throat holding her feet off the floor.

"You still love me!" was snarled at her, each word emphasized with a hard shove into the shelves behind her, digging wood into her shoulder blades.

Bella stared terrified into Edward's eyes not even attempting to breathe through his grip on her. She had a vague sense of a need for air but the terror was too prominent to consider thinking of anything but the fear. She had never seen a person more livid than Edward was now. Somehow a coherent sentence managed to make it to her brain. _I'm going to die._ It was all she was capable of thinking and she repeated it; tortuously, she repeated it.

Unexpectedly, Bella crumpled to the floor as the squeezing fingers were wrenched from her throat. Her dangling legs hadn't responded quickly enough to perform their usual function and support her weight. Landing face down on the carpet, Bella could only listen to the frightening sounds in the room, not able to process.

"She will always love me! I will make her love me!" she heard shouted followed by crashes, groans of pain, and growls.

Bella couldn't comprehend any of it as spots obscured her vision. _Breathe_, her stunned mind instructed. The girl painted a pitiful picture; curled up on herself sobbing and trembling not able to even lift her face from the floor. Bella finally began to take giant gulps of air. She wasn't sure how long she lied there, sniveling and recreating the scene in her mind over and over again. She kept picturing his eyes and the anger they held. Edward had always treated her like a glass-spun princess; to see him lose control so completely and become an animal had shaken Bella almost as much as the physical attack. She tried to put it from her mind and focus on simply inhaling and exhaling but was unsuccessful. She was again imagining Edward's black eyes filled with hate when a cool hand gently touched her shoulder. She yelped harshly.

"It's me, it's me," a soothing voice crooned, accompanying the words with tender strokes of her back. Bella knew that voice. She knew it meant comfort and safety. She wanted to look at the face that went with the voice but couldn't remember how to control her neck muscles. Frightened by her body's lack of response Bella's fear clawed higher and she started wailing. The shushing noises grew more frantic and Bella felt artificial calm being pushed at her. Reveling in the cloud of peace, she took a moment to slow her breath and heart rate. Sufficiently calmed but still feeling her heart racing Bella regained control of her body and was able to lift her head. Jasper's face was inches from hers and the look on his face was one of pure agony.

"Bella, I won't hurt you. Don't be scared. Please just try to calm down. _Please,_" Jasper urged.

Bella didn't think she could work her voice yet but baser instincts were driving her. She knew what she wanted. She inched herself toward Jasper's lap. He looked surprised, but still understood her intention. He scooped her up, wrapping his arms around her. It was only after she registered the noise stopping that Bella realized there had been a high-pitched keening sound echoing in the room for the past few minutes. With a start, she realized that the noise had been coming from her. _Of course my fear instinct would be to moan as if I'm dying. Great defensive strategy there, Ace. _The relief flooding her body allowed the brief moment of sarcasm. Her body understood what her mind was finally grasping: it was okay now. The man she trusted was holding her and had gotten rid of the danger. She was still alive.

Overwhelmed, numb and blissfully free of any deep, analytical thought, exhaustion abruptly pulled Bella's head toward Jasper's shoulder. She closed her eyes.

"Hey, none of that Swan. I need to make sure you're okay." Relief was evident in Jasper's tone as he gently lifted her chin.

Grumbling quietly, Bella acquiesced and made eye contact with Jasper. He smiled softly, eyes scanning her face slowly. Bella struggled to keep him in focus as her body demanded rest; her eyes blurred and blinked slowly. When his examination reached her neck she heard a hiss. Bella knew there must be bruises there that matched Edward's hands perfectly, standing out against her pale skin. About to reassure him, Bella was once against forcibly moved.

"Jasper, no! It's Bella! Leave her alone!"

Adrenaline chased out any fatigue Bella felt as she stared into the face of her second captor. Her distressed mind scarcely recognized Carlisle locking his arms around her, keeping her safe from the wrong son.

"I didn't do this to her. It was Edward." Jasper managed to still look threatening while adopting a very calm stance.

Carlisle looked down at Bella in confusion, disbelief clear on his face. Bella found once again her body was unwilling to cooperate and she was unable to verbalize any agreement. She managed a nod. _How did my ancestors survive long enough to pass on their genes when the Swan fight or flight response is incoherent moaning or silence? Of course, we are quite capable of ongoing commentary in times of danger. That's a survival skill to hone._

"Edward? He wouldn't do this," Carlisle said in shock, still clutching Bella.

Fatigue had reclaimed Bella with the absence of the adrenaline and she wasn't able to get angry at Carlisle's faulty trust in Edward and his distrust of Jasper. All she could muster was a gruff sound of dissent. Jasper's face hardened.

"Believe it or not Carlisle, that's what happened. Please let go of Bella or at least loosen your grip. She's been terrorized enough for one day," Jasper stated, looking even calmer than before.

_No wonder he kicked ass in Maria's army. He keeps his cool in a crisis but I can see anger brewing, _Bella thought waiting expectedly for Carlisle to let her go. Of course, a secondary part of her worried that if he let her go she would collapse on the couch and lie comatose for a few days. It was a chance she was willing to take. However her optimism was in vain.

"Well, we'll get to the bottom of this later. I need to treat her first. Leave Jasper. She's bleeding pretty badly from the scrapes on her back."

"She's bleeding?" Jasper questioned, surprise breaking his collected mask momentarily.

_Hmm… maybe the exhaustion is from the blood loss not just adrenaline, _Bella considered idly, not overly concerned. Pride in Jasper was distracting her from her own health. Jasper hadn't even realized she was bleeding. His care had only been her.

Carlisle shot Jasper an incredulous look, and then eyed the broken window. He was clearly indicating that Jasper should leave. With that exchange Bella was able to dig deep and find a bit of anger and her voice.

"He's fine Carlisle! He didn't even realize I was bleeding. He is totally in control. You didn't walk in on Jasper attacking me. You walked in on him comforting me after _Edward_ choked me. Jasper also got _Edward_ to let go of me before _Edward_ killed me," she snapped, emphasizing Edward in hopes that Carlisle would begin to understand which son had really behaved like a monster. Bella was sick of everyone thinking Jasper was the weak link in the Cullen family; the one blemish on their nauseating perfection.

Carlisle still wasn't responding the way Bella wanted and her fear was starting to rise in his restraining hold. She hadn't had time to work through or even calm down completely after the attack from Edward before being snatched and caged in again and the panic was starting to dull her thought process for the second time. Jasper sensed this and stepped toward the two in concern. In response, Carlisle turned so that he was still trapping Bella but also shielding her; reluctant to recognize the only emotion in Jasper's eyes was one of anxiety, not hunger. Being locked away from the person she needed most in her emotional turmoil, Bella suddenly lost the quavering grip she had on her calm facade and on her sanity. Her true fighting instincts took over at last and she started fighting against Carlisle with all of her might. She kicked and punched wildly, not caring that the only person getting hurt in the process was her as her flailing fists and legs came in contact with Carlisle's rock-like body. Her surroundings were lost to her as she continued to struggle, unaware that her solo brawl was becoming feebler with each painful hit she doled out. Carlisle was likely reacting in some way or was in too much shock to react at all; she simply didn't care and was in no condition to notice. She wanted Jasper. He would make her feel comforted, not restrained. Finally realizing her physical attack wasn't working Bella switched tactics. All sense of dignity was gone so pleading wasn't out of the question.

"_Let me go. _Please. Jasper. I need. _Let me go_. Jasper. Want Jasper." It was forced out between sobs and finally the arms containing her relented slightly.

With the faint slackening, Bella stumbled off the couch Carlisle had trapped her on and launched herself at Jasper. Jasper's arms caught her and he sunk to the floor as he brought her in close to his chest. Tears still fell down Bella's face as she dug her head into his shoulder and inhaled the scent that was pure Jasper. _Safe, _was her last conscious thought as she closed her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and put the story on alert! It was very encouraging! Here's chapter 2. This story has gotten larger than I expected. I will apparently be writing a multiple chapter story. I can't promise a regular updating schedule but I will update as frequently as I can. Warning: Carlisle and Esme bashing. I don't own Twilight and I make no money from writing this. **

Bella woke under a pile of blankets extremely disoriented. The skin of her back was pulled taut beneath bandages and she longed to rip them off. She raised her hand unconsciously, prepared to do just that, when the more logical part of her brain insisted the bandages were likely there for a reason and tearing them off, while satisfying, would not be the wisest choice. As soon as it became a forbidden act the annoyance increased tenfold. Suddenly they weren't just tight, but itchy too.

With an attempt at distracting herself, Bella began to search her surroundings. Her mind was shedding its sleepy fog and unease began to set it in. She wasn't at home in her own bed and her throat was aching. A surprised exclamation escaped her lips as the events came rushing back. Struggling to sit up under the mountain of downy comforters, a desire to escape was quickly making itself known.

_Why isn't Jasper here? He wouldn't just leave me alone, would he?_ The now familiar feeling of panic was peaking as Bella at last kicked free from the bed. Hastening to the door of the bedroom she finally recognized as Carlisle and Esme's, she wrapped her palm around the cool knob.

Angry voices brought her jerky movements up short. People were… yelling? Without any twinge of conscience, Bella cracked the door the door to better eavesdrop.

"I need to apologize to her! You can't keep me from her! She's my girlfriend!"

_Edward,_ Bella recognized, feeling her heart pick up.

"You almost killed her yesterday. And I'm supposed to just stand aside and let you waltz in while she's sleeping? I don't trust you to see her at all, but if you do it will most certainly be on _her_ terms and not yours."

Jasper's voice, in contrast to Edward's, was even and low. The quiet rage was vastly more intimidating than Edward's shouts.

"It's not up to you Jasper! You have nothing to do with the relationship between Bella and myself. In fact, it's _you_ who shouldn't be here! She's still wearing bloody bandages. I can't believe Carlisle and Esme thought it would be okay to leave you alone in the room with her last night." Edward's anger sounded as though it had grown in an attempt to frighten Jasper; unsatisfied with the control Jasper was exhibiting. Bella imagined he was a little frightened of Jasper himself and was trying to disguise it.

Jasper's indignation seemed to go beyond words and Bella heard a smacking sound. Bella wanted to march down and slap Edward herself but was a little wary of facing him.

"Well that's not very sportsman like. You've torn off my arms. How am I to defend myself?"

Bella nearly snorted. As if Edward could best Jasper, arms or no arms. She felt a sort of macabre pleasure at knowing Edward had been hurt. Hurt in her defense, no less.

When Jasper's voice returned, it was so low Bella had to lean into the hallway to hear it.

"You nearly killed her and have the audacity to accuse me of being out of control? I had to pull you off of her! If you had any sense of decency you wouldn't even have returned to this house so soon after your attack. At the very least you should be thanking me for saving her life and groveling. But you… there's nothing decent about you. You're not a man at all, you're a little boy who thinks he can order me around or hurt someone very dear to me and I'll look the other way because you always know what's best. Guess what, Edward? I'm not going to play your fucked up games anymore. Just try to go upstairs and talk with Bella. I dare you."

The challenge was met with silence.

"You know," Jasper continued in a still angry but newly contemplative tone, "you didn't lose control due to blood lust. That would be almost expected, part of our nature as it were. Bella is your singer after all. No you, you sick bastard, hurt her because of something that's inside of you. You let your obsession with her contaminate your mind. I'm not going to let you dictate Bella's life anymore, Edward."

Rage wafted up the stairs and Bella realized Jasper must be projecting. She couldn't help but feel slightly… excited at Jasper's deadly calm voice. She imagined how powerful and in control he must look. Shakily she exhaled, feeling heat rise to her face. _Excellent timing libido._ Bella closed her eyes in an effort to shut off primal desires for the time being. Concentrating on the conversation was much more important at the moment. When she opened them again at the sound of Edward's growls, she saw Esme and Carlisle staring intently at her. Gasping sharply, she jumped back with a start.

"Sorry, sweetheart," Esme murmured, motherly concern on her face.

Unsure of the two vampire's feelings on the attack, she offered a tentative smile in return.

"Bella, let's have a talk, shall we?" Carlisle said his face impassive.

_Well if that's the way it's going to be… _Bella nodded, schooling her features into her best poker face. She was ushered back into the room and beckoned to sit on the bed. Bella perched herself lightly on the edge and waited silently. No way would she begin this conversation.

"We've heard Jasper's account of the events. We'd like to hear yours if you're up to it." Carlisle cut to the chase quickly; he didn't waste any time with a preamble or bedside manner.

Taking the cue from the doctor, Bella decided to tell her story as succinctly as possible.

"Jasper and I were talking last night. Edward came home unexpectedly and heard some things he didn't want to. I didn't see him come in. I was suddenly grabbed by the throat and pushed back against the bookcase. Jasper got him off of me then comforted me. That's when you came home Carlisle."

Neither Esme nor Carlisle reacted, both continued to stare blankly at her.

Bella broke her apathetic narration briefly and began to defend herself, "I know I shouldn't have shared those things with Jasper before I shared them with Edward but I did and it's done. It's too late now. That doesn't give Edward a right to physically attack me. Does it?" She tagged the question to the end since both vampires still looked detached.

Bella was determined to maintain eye contact. She and Jasper were not at fault here. There was no need for her to behave bashfully or as though she was guilty of something.

"How does your back feel? I had to remove an awful lot of wood from the abrasions. I'm afraid your shirt was ruined"

Carlisle's complete change in topic derailed Bella.

"It's fine. The bandages itch but there's not a lot of pain. My throat hurts though. If it's all the same to you, I'd like to finish the other conversation first. What did Jasper tell you?"

Esme raised her eyebrows, not used to an assertive Bella. Carlisle's mask was better, though she could tell he too was surprised.

"His story matches yours very closely. Edward was extremely angry, crashed through the window, and had you by the throat before Jasper even had time to react." Esme stated it conclusively, as though their conversation was over.

"And?" Bella pressed, unwilling to let the subject drop.

"And what, Bella?" Carlisle said.

"Well that can't possibly be the end of it. You believe us don't you? But Edward's still down there? I don't understand. What happens next?"

"Yes, of course we believe you. But Edward was understandably upset at the time. He's no danger to you now. In my opinion, his emotional preoccupation caused him to give in to his animal side. I noticed before I left for work you had nicked yourself shaving and the cut was still bleeding a tiny amount. Jasper seemed to be in control so I felt no need to mention or draw attention to it. I also noticed you had a band-aid on it and I could tell the bleeding would stop shortly causing me to believe it was okay to leave Jasper here with you unattended. But Edward must have smelled it. So he snapped for an instant, and then when you started bleeding more profusely, he was unable to regain control. Edward's always been very controlled, but around his singer… well anyone is bound to give in to the blood lust momentarily if the blood is calling to them specifically and he's had a huge upset," explained Carlisle.

"We're sorry he frightened you though dear. But it is in our nature. And you forgave Jasper so quickly after your birthday fiasco that we knew you would want Edward here so you could talk about it with him. He's fretting that you won't forgive him." Esme laughed lightly, as though that were a ridiculous notion.

Bella goggled, mouth agape.

"I, you, what?" she stammered out.

Bella felt ill. They were both so blinded by their need to see Edward's perfection, their _own_ perfection they wouldn't even entertain any other idea. She felt sorry for them somehow. They would rather close their eyes and dig their heads in the sand than allow life to be anything short of flawless.

"We only asked to make sure that it truly wasn't Jasper," Carlisle said gently.

Bella almost swallowed her tongue.

"This can't be real! _You_ can't be real! Edward didn't do this because I was bleeding! He was angry that I no longer love him. He even shouted 'you still love me' while holding me by the _throat!_"

"Now Bella, I'm sure -" Esme started, clearly trying to placate the distraught girl.

"He didn't even try to bite me! He wasn't a shark that caught the scent of blood. It's like Jasper said. It was something inside of him! It's part of his personality!" Bella cut her off, fighting the urge to vomit.

The core Cullens suddenly disgusted her immensely. Alice, Edward, Carlisle, and Esme had been cast in a different light; one that no longer flattered but highlighted every flaw of their hideous facade. None of their faults had to do with _what_ they were but _who_ they were. They all simply pretended to care, to be selfless. Bella abruptly understood that Jasper was the most important person in the coven. He played the role of scapegoat. All the mistakes and blame were heaped directly as his feet keeping the others in their damned superior arrogance.

The doctor and his wife exchanged a meaningful glance.

"Bella," Esme tried again, this time interrupted by a shadow in the doorframe.

The Cullen black sheep had arrived.

"Jasper, now might not be the best time…" Esme trailed off, looking to her husband for support.

"Yes Jasper, I still need to check Bella's injuries." Carlisle backed her up immediately.

"No," Bella said; effectively halting whatever Jasper had opened his mouth to say. "I want to talk to Jasper. And I want to do it alone."

The coven leaders looked ready to protest but a raised eyebrow from Bella told them she really meant it. With visible reluctance and triple checking to see that Jasper was currently in control, Bella was left alone with Jasper. Looking up at him, the overwhelming need to cry sucker punched Bella in the stomach. Embarrassed by her reaction, she hid her head in her palms while sobbing uncontrollably.

She felt a solid presence sit behind her on the bed, close but not touching. Without conscious thought Bella leaned into him and absorbed some of his unwavering strength. They sat quietly. Jasper was giving her a chance to put her thoughts together.

"Oh, Jasper. I can't believe this. How can they even consider blaming you?"

The need for him to understand her position beyond any doubt compelled Bella to turn, look him directly in the eyes, and grab the front of his shirt.

"This whole thing is disgusting! They're trying to find a way to make it your fault! Don't let them. They're all sickening. I'm scared and I – I" Bella started speaking hysterically, not even sure if she made sense. It was just too much. Everything was too much. She wanted to shut down.

"Swan, pull yourself together. You're strong. You're the only one I know who can pull herself through this. Take ten deep breaths. Don't think about anything but filling your lungs with oxygen."

Bella complied.

"Good. Now give me a minute to check you over. I'm near hysterics myself," Jasper ordered, moving her slightly back so he could see her.

Finishing his examination, Jasper slowly reached out for her. Bella finally found herself in the hug she had been waiting hours for.

"I'm so glad you're okay Darlin'."

"Please get me out of here." Bella spoke to his chest. She felt safe and protected in Jasper's arms but knew that if she could just leave the Cullen house she would be able to gain some control over her emotions again.

It needed to be Jasper and her. She could talk to him and make sure that he understood that she didn't blame him. She was so thankful he was there. Bella decided she also needed to remind him how strong he was; he took all of the shit the Cullens' dealt out and still pretended to be weak. Just so their family maintained its balance.

"They won't be happy with me taking you." He didn't sound concerned.

"I don't give a damn. I'm beyond livid at them all right now. Please just take me away. Just me and you. Please?" Bella practically begged.

"Anything for you, Swan. Let's go to my secret place."

With that, Jasper scooped her up and jumped through the second story window. He ran straight into the forest, completely ignoring the shouts behind them. He ran at a speed slow enough for Bella to keep her eyes open. Despite feeling as though the whole world had shifted and she had lost her footing, Bella was still felt awe at the scenery flashing by.

After about ten minutes of running, Jasper stopped without warning.

"We're here," he state unnecessarily.

It appeared to be the bank of a small creek. Crystal clear water whispered as it staggered over rocks. The grass was soft and smelled earthy. The wind tickled the leaves of surrounding branches and Bella was certain if she listened hard enough she would hear the secrets hidden in the forest.

Jasper and Bella seated themselves on a large boulder.

"It's beautiful," Bella whispered, afraid if she raised her voice it would shatter the tranquility.

"I won't bore you with how I found it." Jasper smiled. "It's nice to be out though. I finally feel as though I can process everything that happened."

"Jasper, before we really talk, I have to tell you how proud I am of you. You didn't even realize I was bleeding last night. And I had an epiphany. You're the strongest man I know. You take on all of the guilt from the Cullens just so they feel good about themselves. I wouldn't do it if I were you. They're not very appreciative or likely even know what they're doing." Bella huffed quietly.

"And I want to thank you for being there last night. You saved my life." A tidal wave of gratitude surrounded Bella.

"I-" Jasper began, looking to the ground in embarrassment.  
"No, I don't want to hear you deny it or thank me. It would spoil it. I just wanted you to know."

Jasper squeezed her hand and sent huge amounts of gratitude, happiness and peace. Bella returned the pressure and concentrated on feeling pride, acceptance, and love. Bella was only brave enough to send the love due to her discovery in a past conversation. Jasper couldn't separate one type of love from another.

"I'm so glad you're okay Bella. It took me too long to react last night. Must be getting rusty. At least I finally acted. I don't know what I would do without you."

Bella blushed and wished the words meant to him what they did to her. She was sure he was just thankful to have someone believe in him.

They sat together for awhile and simply felt each other emotions; both were reluctant to end the moment with the unpleasant discussion. Bella could sense the topic hovering darkly overhead and it seemed to descend lower and lower until she finally spoke up.

"What happened after I went to sleep?"

"Carlisle demanded that I tell him what happened. I told him the bare minimum, he treated your injuries, and then I carted you off to bed. Carlisle told Esme when she returned home. Edward arrived several hours later ordering me to wake you up and allow him to apologize. I saw red and tore his arms off. I don't understand how he has the nerve to play the role of injured party. He's lucky I didn't burn them. Although I've yet to rule it out," Jasper reported.

"I don't want to see him. I'm scared. But I can't leave it the way it is now. I have to talk to him," Bella admitted, feeling foolish but not able to deny her fear.

"I'll be close by when you talk to him. There's no way you'll have to face him alone," Jasper said while placing a hand on her knee.

The proximity of Jasper was making Bella's brain fuzzy.

"Let's not talk about it anymore, okay?"

"Sure Darlin'. Let's just stay here a while and recover. Edward's too busy searching for his arms to come and find us I'm sure," Jasper replied throwing his arm around her shoulders and drawing her close.

They spent the rest of the afternoon in Jasper's secret place. It was exactly what the two needed after the upheaval. As dusk crept up slowly they both instinctively knew their brief reprieve from reality was coming to a close.

"I don't want you to go back there. I'm worried for you. And I don't want them all to blame you," Bella confessed.

"I don't want to go back much myself. This whole thing has forced me to acknowledge the writing on the wall. I think it's high time this Major grew up and got his own place."

"You're not leaving, are you?" Bella asked anxiously.

"Hell no, Swan. Not when I've got something to stick around for." Jasper poked her in the stomach with a chuckle.

Bella fought to tamp down any hope that gave her. _He just means his best friend. Not the girl he's in love with._

"Good," Bella stated firmly, locking her hand in his.

They kept it light hearted and laughed their whole way to Bella's driveway. Charlie was out for the weekend so Bella hadn't been missed. Jasper unceremoniously deposited Bella on her front porch.

"I want to talk to Edward tomorrow. Let's just get it over with," Bella said. She was trying to let fierce determination win over any fear she might have.

"Whatever you want Bella. I promise I'll be close. He won't hurt you again," Jasper reassured her.

"Thanks Jasper. And thank you for today. I was going to crack soon. Actually, I really did lose it there for a bit."

"It was my pleasure. I'm proud of how you've handled this. I knew you were growing stronger but I would never have asked anyone to show the strength you did today. You helped me calm down too. Which is good, because tomorrow, it's going to hit the fan. Thank you for defending me and for not letting them bulldoze over you. You have good instincts and you knew that no matter what they might try to get you to believe, Edward wasn't in a feeding frenzy. You defended yourself; knew that you don't deserve someone hurting you."

"I just knew I wasn't guilty of anything in this situation. Except maybe over-sharing," Bella replied and saw Jasper shake his head. He clearly thought she hadn't shared too much.

"Well, you have _fairly_ good instincts. You do spend most of your time with vampires. Something I'm pretty thankful for," Jasper amended.

"I couldn't let them sweep something like this under the carpet. Not when it hurts you and me but let's them save face. I feel like I saw them all for the first time today." Bella wrinkled her nose.

"I'm just sorry I didn't plan to move out and stand up to them sooner. I'm not going to let them blame me for this one. Well, I'll let you get some sleep. Good night Bella," Jasper said.

"Good night." Bella turned toward the door and slid the key in the lock.

"One more thing Darlin'," Jasper whispered, grabbing Bella's shoulder and twirling her around.

He dug his fingers into her hair, pulled her close, and looked into her eyes. Bella couldn't tell if her heart had stopped beating or was racing. _Is he going to kiss me?_

"You had a leaf in your hair." Jasper showed her the green object, twisting it between his fingers.

"Oh. Uh… T-thanks." Bella answered belatedly. Jasper was already hopping off the porch.

"Sleep tight, Swan. I'll make sure Edward doesn't come 'round here tonight and I'll see you tomorrow," Jasper said over his shoulder.

Bella stood frozen on the porch for several moments. Finally, she was able to will her body into motion and go inside the house. But not before imagining it had been a real kiss.


End file.
